guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize