So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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