I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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