Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize