My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
