On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
