He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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