new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
