dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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