my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
