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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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