Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
