She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
