So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Someone shit on the floor
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
