I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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