she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
id be glad to
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
