i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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