U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Non-Jews are for practice
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
