I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize