everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
