so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
