You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
