How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm passing your future prison.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
