Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
