My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
