I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
