nutella sex= disaster
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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