I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
