Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
