Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
