But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
