I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
