I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
