i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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