yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
