Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You are a genius and a whore.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
