my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I skipped work to stalk him.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
