"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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