I like to think it a success when the cops are called
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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