yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
