its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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