I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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