I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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