don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
