can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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