ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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