sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
