Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
