Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
