Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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