my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize