Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Randomize
