Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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