You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize