So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize