is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
