1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize