found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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