The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
