i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
