Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Sober January is a disaster.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
