i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
