I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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