First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
