Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
