dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize