It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
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