i already hear my dad disowning me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
