Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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