shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
