so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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