If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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