I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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