I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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