Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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