Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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